The Jealousy Monster

I haven't been jealous of anyone in seven years. I believe I can retain this ability for the rest of my life and you can too, let me tell you how...

Really? You haven't been jealous of anyone in SEVEN years..." Is probably what you're thinking, but before you roll your eyes, consider this...

What is jealousy?

It's the feeling connected to fear, or lack of possessions. It's the attributes and thoughts that others have something that you don't or can't have. And maybe they do? But who cares!

You've got to be a strong individual to live in one of the shallowest cities in the country, if not the world....Los Angeles. People who live or move here are constantly fixated on keeping up with trends, status and worth.

But don't let that stop you from being your most authentic self. Besides, L.A. has a diverse group of people and everyone isn't shallow, but that doesn't stop us from having some type of environmental influence from social media, and Hollywood.

I was 19 years old when I had this perspective check: I call it the "Everything that glitter's isn't gold" perspective. Its a saying that definitely isn't new but somehow escapes us regularly.

To be honest its not even a perspective, it's a hardcore reality that is truth behind what we see in others that should stop us from being jealous. Unfortunately it doesn't, because most of us don't even consider it.

This perspective is knowing that you have no idea how hard someone worked, what they had to sacrifice and what they were willing to do to get where they are now.

Some of the most common things people are jealous of in others:

1. Wealth

2. Looks

3. Status / Popularity

4. Relationships

To this perspective, we've probably all been jealous of someone else at one point in time, not only is it normal, it stems from not realizing the truth. The truth is we're not omniscient beings, we can't see, hear or know all things and this should be enough to stop our envy in its tracks.

When it comes to that happy relationship: On one end you don't know if this couple is as happy as they're putting on (this could be a couple you know in real life or admire on instagram) there could be infidelity, even domestic violence behind closed doors. Perhaps they stay for convenience or the image they're putting on is somehow profitable. On the flip side, they could very well be living the ideal fairytale we've all dreamed of. But you don't know how many heartaches, depressed nights and horrific relationships they've been in before they found each other. You also don't know if you're willing to go through that to get to your desires.

There's a circulating joke online about bad bitches going on vacation and never showing the guy that flew them out. They often joke that the guy is hideous.

Let's say that's true...are you willing to suck 70 year old dick to get flown out to the Bahamas? No? Then stop being jealous of the Instagram bad bitch that is...

BIG "L"

...No not the rapper, he's still dope though...

No one wants to talk about the things that happen before the wins, which are the losses. You may lose family and friends because they think you're delusional for chasing a dream you're passionate about. Good news for you buddy, their opinion doesn't matter. Your journey has nothing to do with them. So let them walk in disbelief. They'll return the exact same way after your success.

When it comes to losses don't even count how many you've taken; we know you only need ONE yes. So how many people have told you no? Dozens, maybe even hundreds. You've probably embarrassed yourself in a conference room full of people to pitch your idea. I want you to know I adore that about you, it's bravery at its finest.

The rich guy sacrificed thousands of dollars before he made millions and millions before he made billions. A lot of us are too scared to chase our dreams; we're comfortable having stable, basic income at our 9-5; but are afraid to take the risk that could make us wealthy.

You have no idea, how many top ramen nights they had to eat; or the verge of homelessness because they believed and were willing to chase something that you are not.

If you're not willing to take risks that could take you to your dreams, don't be jealous of the guy that is.

There is a saying, it's: "you can have what others don't because you are willing to do what others won't." I guarantee this is the foundation of every entrepreneur you can think of.

THE FEAR MONSTER

What's stopping you? Of course it's fear but I don't have to tell you that. Sometimes the fear we experience isn't even coming from us. Sometimes, we're propelled to do things and to go places that scare everyone else and it talks us out of performing our deepest soul urges. We second guess ourselves and start attaching logic to intuition. Your intuition isn't logical its greater than that... it doesn't need facts, proof or any other tangible evidence to do or not do something. It moves on feeling's and its never wrong. If it is...it wasn't your intuition talking...it was your mind.

How do you decipher the two?

It can be tricky and take lots of practice; but it's mostly based off a feeling and having the capacity to silence the mind and trust yourself. The reason we second guess ourselves is because we've developed this habit of feeling like we're wrong.

Get in the habit of knowing that you're right. Stop asking yourself why you have an urge to go here or go there, or to speak or reach out to this person or to stop dealing with another...just do it. There's adventure behind that.

The Big Picture

We all are going to have our time to shine. The best thing you can do is clap for those while it's their moment.

Some people have great things and didn't have to sacrifice or risk anything to have it. What a blessing! It's kind of like a birth right. Some people are born into poverty and others born into wealth. Many may ask, why do they deserve X,Y, and Z and I don't? Truth is, maybe they don't deserve these things, ultimately thats not up to you to decide. Remember this isn't a competition or a race, stay in your lane and mind your business...success is there.

Perhaps they are wealthy but they have no family. Perhaps they are the perfect couple but they can't bare children. Maybe they have a Harvard degree and can't land a job. There are millions of scenarios where people have something YOU want but these people are lacking something they want themselves; or even want what you have that you don't quite value. Express gratitude now and your future blessings will be magnified.

Perspective is key when understanding our universe. Could you imagine if you were God? Having to cater to billions of needs and desires? You'd understand why patience is a virtue. Everyone can't be blessed at the same time...let alone on your time. Since we're all interconnected, things have to happen behind the scenes for our desires to be reached. For some this doesn't take action or putting in work, it takes waiting--doing nothing at all, but waiting for things to fall into place for your desired outcome.

Intuitively speaking, discover which spectrum you're on. Are you on the end of needing to put in the work? Are you on the end of needing to relax and wait? Maybe you're in the center of needing to do both...putting in an equal amount of work while applying an equal amount of patience for your work to show results.

Since I'm aware of all of this, I don't look at others in hate or envy, I have actual happiness. I love seeing people being loved, or loving themselves, taking their health seriously, finally being financially stable. Genuine happiness for others ensures gratitude for where you are, and aids in your desires manifesting its way to you.

I hope this message found you well. While you're jealous of someone, someone else is probably jealous of you. DEADA the ENVY MONSTER!

-A Readable Adventure